Aku ga menyangka my life hits rock bottom in my 40 years old!
I thought my husband was financially stable, hardworking, not smoking nor drink alcohol, then our Sera should live without worrying financially.
Then something happen..
The culprit was "trucknara sechajang" It was never my idea. Totally my husband's idea, even I thought something like smaller business, he insisted on his idea.. okay maybe I'm afraid of high risk, but my husband's dream so what can I say, He was working all his life to have his own business, not "my business"
Then everything didn't work as his plans. He started to take a loan, then genset business with Edi that "problem maker" I see no future, and everytime I ask him to pray, he doesn't like that idea. I keep praying Lord Jesus will open his heart soon.
I dont know anything Lord about our future. Sometimes I cried thinking about Sera..Some jobs here obviously reject foreigner from beginning. I try to sell my teaching skills, but I lose my hope from time to time..
I'm hopeless,
tired.. want to die. But life has no "undo" button... What I can do is just praying. Now even Monday becomes better day for me than Sunday where I have to see husband's frown face all the day! :)
I dont know when can I see sunshine will shine upon me once again. I should use more money not keep it for husband's idea that I have no idea about.
